Why I’m giving birth in a warzone
The war hasn’t extinguished the desire for our managing editor Myroslava to start a family. This is why she’s choosing to have a child now.
Editor’s Note:
Our dear colleague Myroslava will soon be leaving us to have a child. She’s a critical part of our publication, making sure the whole team’s work is scheduled and submitted on deadline, managing all the journalism that is produced here.
Here’s The Counteroffensive’s policy: We’ll be giving five months paid maternity leave for her as she navigates this process.
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The day has come.
I wake up before my husband, and tiptoe to the bathroom. I’m holding the test in my hand, which I haven't dared to take for three days.
My heart pounds, and my hands shake.
"Breathe in, breathe out... You've always wanted a baby," I repeat to myself, but for some reason, I'm afraid.
I wait, and after a few seconds, I see two bright red stripes.
Everything stops.
Deep down, I knew it would happen, but I doubted it until the very last moment.
I'm pregnant.
I thought I would cry, but I can't even blink – no tears, no relief, just silence.
"I'm going to be a mother,” says a voice inside my head. “Damn it, I'm going to be a mother when there's a war going on?"
Despite the daily sirens, death, and uncertainty, Ukrainian women continue to choose to give birth. It may seem paradoxical, but in times of darkness, giving birth becomes an act of faith, resistance, and love. It demonstrates how naturally brave Ukrainians are and their deep belief: that even amid war, Ukraine has a future.
This piece is personal. It is written by me, a journalist who found out she was pregnant during the war, and for the first time in my life, I was not afraid just for myself.
Editor’s note: Tim here.
Normally reporter’s notebook stories like this are paywalled right here. I felt this one was too important not to be available to all, so I removed it.
But we can’t do journalism for free – if you appreciated this story, please upgrade now.
I struggled to express my news verbally for the whole day.
Andrii, my husband, and I had talked about having a child for a long time. But no one prepares you for what it's like to wait for new life while others are dying every day.
At first, I was silent, even to him. It seemed better to keep it to myself – a secret, small light in the great darkness. But I knew I couldn't stay silent for long. This news, so big and so fragile, was about to break.
That evening, I prepared dinner — something tasty and homemade: potatoes baked in clay pots with meat and sour cream (I would say it's a traditional Ukrainian dish).
It takes a long time to cook, so I make it for important dates. I chose it intentionally, to keep our home warm and inviting, our way. As well as the food, I also put a small box on the table. A gift that would change everything.
That evening, there was silence in the candlelit apartment, with no sirens – a miracle in itself. I handed him the box, holding my breath as if I were about to jump into an abyss. He opened it... and remained silent.
The silence seemed to last forever. Then he looked up: "Is it true?"
No, I'm f**king kidding, I thought, but instead I nodded in the affirmative.
His face conveyed it all – joy, shock, but mostly fear. Not just of becoming a father, but of raising a child in a war-torn country.
This wasn’t just two lines on a pregnancy test; it’s a vow – to protect our child, and to endure. And that vow feels even heavier than the emergency suitcase we usually grab during an air raid.
I am not the only one. There are thousands of women like me in Ukraine, though their numbers have decreased significantly since the onset of the full-scale invasion.
Critically few children are born in Ukraine today. In 2024, nearly 177,000 newborns were registered. For comparison, 278,000 children were born in 2021 – meaning there’s been a 40 percent drop in just three years.
For every child, there are almost three deaths during the war. The situation is worse in the East and South: in the Kherson region, there are 11 deaths for every child born.
According to the Institute of Demography, if this trend persists, by 2050, there will be only 25 million Ukrainians. That would be less than half the size of the population of Ukraine after the collapse of the USSR in 1991.
Overall, the birth rate in Ukraine has been declining since 2013. Even before the war, the low standard of living in Ukraine resulted in ongoing migration, leading to a continually decreasing number of children. Ukraine's fertility decline was also significantly affected by the start of Russian aggression in 2014.
Cost is another reason Ukrainians have small numbers of children. I was also an only child in my family. Every time I asked for a brother or sister, my parents said they couldn't afford it; it was too complicated and expensive. Many of my friends had a similar situation: most of them grew up alone. These days, having multiple children is the exception rather than the rule.
War brings constant stress, which is harmful during pregnancy, built up by ongoing worry and anxiety. I never thought of myself as an anxious person, but with the onset of pregnancy, I became this way.
I always have thoughts in my head, and it's interesting that many of them revolve around work. Being a journalist means constantly worrying about articles, ensuring everything is written correctly, and that I haven't forgotten anything. Now, being pregnant, I have a new and bigger concern on top of my career. But the worries about work have not disappeared, and sometimes it seems that there are even more of them.
Living in Ukraine today, there is a constant influx of men into the army who must fight. Every one of those men faces the risk of not returning home.
It's difficult to fathom what pregnant women experience when their loved ones are at war. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I could end up like those women, if my husband was called to fight. The thought scares me, even though I know it could happen to any of us.
The presence of your partner during pregnancy is a critical factor. In fact, I could never have imagined how much men change during their wives' pregnancy.
I’m endlessly grateful to Andrii for the breakfasts, the massages, the music, the care, and the messages he sends me all day long. That’s what fills me with strength and calm. No matter what’s happening, he drops everything, starts the car, and takes me wherever I need to go. He’s always by my side at doctor visits, smiling widely as he watches our baby on the screen.
By the way, here is our tiny baby! Currently, it is much bigger, but this is the best picture because it turns out that all babies love covering their faces with their hands.
Now our little unborn baby is almost 8 months old. It weighs about two kg. I still can't believe a real person is living inside me!
This baby is so lucky to have a daddy like Andrii – someone who talks to him every evening, kisses him through my belly, and counts down the days until they meet. That kind of love and presence is the most precious thing you can have during pregnancy, even when there’s a war outside the window.
From the start, Andrii said he’d be there with me at the birth to support me. I know I can count on him completely. That’s why I never once considered going abroad or even to another city in Ukraine to give birth.
Some pregnant mothers have decided to move for safety, knowing that the Russians often shell hospitals and maternity wards, even in Kyiv. Moreover, a missile hit near the maternity hospital where I plan to give birth during winter. Everything ended well, and no one was hurt, but this also puts me under pressure.
I now have only two months left before I give birth... I just hope everything works out — that I make it to the hospital, that Andrii is there, and that there are no Russian attacks that day.
But despite everything, I believe that everything will be alright, and I will give birth in Kyiv.
In January this year, I wrote a story about journalist Anastasiia Fedchenko, who lost her husband in the war while eight months pregnant. She gave birth to a daughter a month later. Although her husband was supposed to be with her during the birth, she was instead assisted by two friends.
"My beloved husband Andrii should have been with me that day. He would have held my hand and wiped the sweat from my brow, he would have loved Katrusia at first sight," Anastasiia wrote on her Facebook page.
Being pregnant during the war presents another challenge. Have you ever been in a bomb shelter? If you haven't, I hope you never have to. The closest bomb shelter to my house is the subway. If you have ever been in the subway, you know that it is very cold, especially in winter. Additionally, there is limited seating space, making it challenging for pregnant women to stand.
Usually, my husband handles it — he wakes me when explosions shake our apartment in the night, checks how serious the attack is, and decides whether we need to rush to the subway. Last time, we drove because I was already walking slowly.
Carrying two cats, a blanket for warmth, and a chair to sit on makes getting to the shelter a struggle. I can’t imagine doing it all with a stroller.
Oh, and I haven't yet told you the most important thing: Are we having a boy or a girl?
To be honest, I had dreamed of a gender reveal — balloons, confetti, that shared moment of surprise. But our doctor slipped up and told us right away at the first ultrasound. Andrii and I just hugged in silence and decided: let it at least be a surprise for our family.
We ordered cupcakes with a secret inside – pink or blue. Before the first bite, we asked everyone to guess. It was simple, sweet, and filled with joy.
What are your thoughts? While you ponder, I'll maintain the intrigue a bit longer.
I’ve been thinking for a long time about how to answer the question of why couples decide to have a child during a war. To be honest, I don’t have a clear answer.
Everyone has their own reasons. One of my friends, who is currently fighting in the army, said his wife wanted him to leave something behind if he didn’t come back. Another friend said she wanted to find meaning, after the war deeply affected her mental health. My other friend doesn’t want to have a child at all.
For me, I think it’s about feeling alive despite the war. It’s about living in the moment, no matter what happens. Having a child during a war isn’t just about fear and uncertainty; it’s about endless love. It’s the realization that, even though we are afraid, we are also ready to protect a whole new world from all the bad things out there.
Already, he has become the thing for whom we have to live!
Yes, he: we are expecting a baby boy.
And while I'm writing these last lines, he gives me a sign – my son kicks me from the inside, as if to say: “I'm here, mom.”
He hasn't been born yet, but he already feels everything. He hears my heart, my worries, my words. And he probably knows that he is greatly anticipated here.
I haven't held him in my arms yet, but I'm already talking to him in my mind, sharing everything from the morning news to my fears.
And while the world around me falls apart, a whole new universe grows inside me.
Thank you, my boy, for choosing us and coming to us right now, when we need faith that life goes on. Your daddy and I already love you very much, and we are waiting for you…
In the meantime, watch this wonderful video of my baby at 5 months, weighing only 300 grams, January 2025:
NEWS OF THE DAY:
TRUMP: RUSSIA, UKRAINE “VERY CLOSE TO A DEAL”: U.S. President Donald Trump said Friday marked a “good day” for negotiations after his envoy, Steve Witkoff, met with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Moscow.
The Kremlin described the talks as "constructive," while Trump stated that "most of the major points are agreed to" and urged Ukraine and Russia meet "at very high levels" to "finish it off."
Reports suggest that the U.S. expects Ukraine to concede the Crimean Peninsula, which Russia illegally annexed in 2014 — a move Zelenskyy has repeatedly rejected.
Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy met in Rome on Saturday before Pope Francis’ funeral. After the meeting, Zelenskyy said: “It is a very symbolic meeting that has the potential to become historic if we achieve joint results.” The White House called it a “very productive discussion.”
KREMLIN: UKRAINE FORCES REMOVED FROM KURSK: Ukrainian troops have been pushed out of Russia’s Kursk region, Kremlin spokesperson Dmitry Peskov said on Saturday.
According to Russian state media, Valery Gerasimov, Chief of the General Staff of Russia’s Armed Forces, reported the development to President Vladimir Putin on Saturday.
Ukraine has not yet responded to the claim.
In a statement, Putin congratulated Russian forces, declaring that Ukraine’s attempted incursion had "completely failed."
"The complete defeat of the enemy along the Kursk border creates favorable conditions for further advances by our troops in other key areas of the front," he said.
UKRAINE, EU PRESENT PEACE PLAN: Ukrainian and European officials have submitted a peace proposal to the U.S. that includes "robust security guarantees" and rejects any discussion of territorial concessions until a "full and unconditional ceasefire in the sky, on land, and at sea" is in place.
The proposal also calls for an "Article 5-like agreement," backed by the United States, as the Trump administration stated this month that NATO membership for Kyiv is currently off the table.
The plan further requests that sanctions on Russia be eased only after a peace agreement is fully implemented. Washington has reportedly been considering easing sanctions even before a formal peace deal is reached.
CATS OF CONFLICT:
Today's cats of Conflict are Myroslava's Sherri and Stuhna, who seem to be the most excited about the new family member.
They never leave Myroslava's side, and wherever she goes, they always come running to snuggle up next to her.
Stay safe out there,
Best,
Myroslava
Such courage and love shine out from you, Myroslava! Sending you love, wishes and prayers for the safe delivery of your son and your ongoing safety. Thank you so much for the courageous reporting you bring to us, keeping the hope of Ukraine alive in our lives
Mazel tov Myroslava! I hope so much that your son will know only peace.